SETTLING IN AFTER JUST 5 MONTHS?

Sometimes, in this wacky world I call Poland, I get a great jolt of energy. I'm not sure how it happens but I wish I could make a definite association with something I'm doing and that great feeling. So many times, I look around me and think, "how did I get here and why am I here?" Many times, I try to answer that with something positive (this doesn't always work). Luckily, I had an awesome time in Nowy Sacz and recognized once again, from the help of my colleagues, why I'm here.

I have been waiting all my life to do this; to live abroad and teach - and now that I'm here, I'm freaking out and missing the whole experience. One minute I want to hop on the next plane home and the next, I'm not sure I ever want to go back. This doesn't mean that I want to live in Poland forever (although crazier things have happened) but I'm not so sure my traveling itch is gone after just 5 months.

Yesterday, I looked out the window and saw a Poland that I only see rarely. It was just a few lit windows across the street but it was a picture in my mind that I had seen before I got here - little things that just look beautiful on their own. Or make you think of a feeling that makes you feel like you've settled into something really comfortable and somehow, already known. Difficult to explain, I suppose. But anyhow, for that minute, I was good. I forgot about people pushing in front of me on the bus or giving me odd looks in the grocery store. I just remembered the fact that I was doing something that I set out to do and for that, I'm so grateful. So for now, I'm good. I'm really good. And part of me hopes that it lasts but part of me is afraid of what might happen if it does.