HOMEWARD BOUND

I am coming home.

For two long weeks, I have tried to find the best in being here. I have been as optimistic as one could be and have struggled to find the reason that I am here. After two weeks, I realize there is none. On the way to class this morning, I decided I was done. I didn't talk about it with anybody - not Jon, not Christine, not my parents or even my girlfriends - nobody. I needed to know that this was completely my choice and that it was what was in my heart.

Telling the school was bad - as I knew it would be. I marched right over there from my business class and asked to speak with my director of studies. I told her I had to return to the states and that I couldn't adequately express how sorry I was for this news. Her mouth stayed open for a good 15 seconds and she didn't say a word. Then, she took me down to the director's office.

There, they pressed me for information leading to my decision. Why wasn't I happy now? What changed? Why such a quick decision? Was there anything that might change my mind? I told them that it had nothing to do with Poland and everything to do with home. I don't enjoy teaching and feel that my students aren't getting the kind of teacher that they deserve. I tried to venture out and find fun things to distract myself but decided that there was no reason that I needed to stay here, other than for the school - but I can't do something for someone else at the expense of my happiness.

So, it will probably be a month or so before I'm actually home but at least now they are aware that the teacher they have in those classes is not the one they should have. I'm sending out some emails to colleagues in hopes that someone may want to take my position here within a few weeks. Keep your fingers crossed that someone is wanting something in the next few weeks and I can be on the plane sooner rather than later.