TIME AFTER TIME

I'll be fine once I get there but I think it's the initial first class that's giving me the freak-out right now. I got my schedule and read through it-it looks fine besides all those classes I have to teach. Ah well, I guess I have to do something while I'm over there. I'm going to try and dig up some teaching books and see if I can't brush up on my grammar. Thing is, I told them that I prefer adults and higher level classes and so that's all I pretty much got. Which is fine, aside from the proficiency class. The proficiency class at ILS scared the hell out of me. Nobody wanted to have it. Annwen had it for a while (and she's amazing) and they ate her alive. She hated it. Seems all the proficiency people in that class thought they already knew English and that there was nothing you could teach them. Well, my vocabulary is satisfactory but it's not at a proficiency level by any means - so you'll be able to smell my fear when you walk in that room. Well, best thing I can do is just give it my best shot and let my personality take hold; that's the only reason I made it through last year.

LIFE GOES ON IN DIFFERENT TIME ZONES

I am entirely bored at work right now and decided to see if I couldn't find a website for my old school in Kluczbork. Now, I LOVE Kluczbork and the people it inhabits (seriously, they're just friendlier) but on my looking for pictures of Kluczbork, I couldn't help but look up Opole (really I was just having fun attempting to read things in Polish again). So I stumbled on the Opole webcam that felt just weird, but fun, to watch.

First of all, it's totally dark there - which I recognize that there's a time difference but just forgot until I saw it.

Then, I see some guy rifling through something (a garbage can?) and just sat, staring at him - trying to remember what it is that is in that little pocket of the sidewalk and feeling so (weird? awesome?) that I have the ability to try and figure out something that's going on halfway around the world. Then I just sat there and looked at the lights (are they new?), remembered how many times I walked through that area (either past Volcano pizza where I shared pies and beers with friends, the cinema where I reveled in being able to understand what was on the screen, or the gallery where a co-worker had her big opening), thought about the shops there (and the speed I would be in and out of them for fear that someone might ask me a question I couldn't understand), and how above all, my life was still somehow oddly normal in that city.

FRIENDS IN LOW (AND EAST, AND WEST) PLACES

Dublin (which is my first choice - I think I'll want the break from speaking "proper" English), Budapest, Istanbul, Madrid...ahhh, the choices. With extremely welcoming (albeit new) friends living all over, it's fairly easy to pick and choose.

So even though this is going to be a little different trip from last time, I'm hoping that the one compensation I'll get is being able to travel more than I did last year. I'm a bit more of a veteran to the teaching gig (not too much though) and hope that I'll really get the salary that I was told I would be receiving. With both those factors, I'm hoping that I can get out of Debica during the holidays. I'll be wanting to spend the Christmas season with my great aunt but have checked out flights to Dublin for New Year's. For a mere 416 zl ($153), I can head out and visit my (according to facebook - so far non-visited) girl Nika. She absolutely loves it out there and I'm thinking I could deal with ringing in the new year there. Other than that, I'm itching to get to Istanbul and see the place. I had such an awesome time with all the students from Turkey that were in the international program here this summer that I can't imagine possibly having a bad time there. And there's a ton of people I could visit there.

Of course, if I don't get my work certificate in the mail soon, I'm not going anywhere.

REAL JOB YET? I THINK NOT.

Not even three months since my last entry. A lot can happen in not even three months. I came home, worked a great job, hung out with family and friends, thought that I wanted to stay home, thought that I wanted to go back, interviewed for a job in the states, interviewed for a job in Polska, and then ultimately put my mom in a bad mood this morning when I told her I bought my ticket last night and that it's final - I'm going back. (She wants me to get a real job, in Rochester.) I'm not as excited as I was before (is it possible that 7 months could feel longer than the 9 months I was there last time?) but know (kinda) that (I think) this is what I (think I) need to do.

So this is a picture I found on google of Debica, the new Polish residency I will inhabit for the next 7 months, beginning on September 26 (I fly out the 25th). I am accepting prayers for my sanity. It's going to be interesting but luckily, the director at this joint sounds much more sane than my last and I'll be an hour train ride from a great aunt that I'm very excited to meet. I have a lot to do before I leave (I forgot how much there is to get in order before you leave your life for nearly a year) - I'm hoping my family comes around in the next three weeks or this trip might end up feeling even longer than I was anticipating.


commons.wikimedia.org

WHEN THE LIGHTS, GO DOWN, IN THE CITY

Had a wonderful weekend. After the presentation, I went out with most everyone from the program. It was a good time and I didn't stay out later than I should (as I usually do). Although I had a nice hangover the next morning, I still went to the lake as planned. It was so worth it. There was a beautiful view and friends just relaxing and passing around a guitar. Very mellow and very needed.

Getting ready to head back home. I was sure that someone would be heading to Warsaw Friday night and I wouldn't have to go it alone but it's looking like that's not the case. Luckily I met a new friend before leaving Opole and he can hopefully meet me in Warsaw as that's where he lives. Even though I'm excited to see my family, I will be sad to leave Poland and my first experience of living abroad behind.

EEEEEE!

It's finally done - the dreaded presentation that prevented me from eating lunch today and caused me to feel that I should wake up and run this morning. It's done! And I feel so excellent because of it - for a number of reasons. First - I HATE presentations. For some reason, I have been conditioned to all the horrible things that can happen to one during a presentation. Because of this, I actually prayed to God that I wouldn't have it happen too bad. Now, as you all know, I LOVE thunderstorms and one of the things I had prayed for, was rain. (It makes me calmer, what can I say?) Well, the night before my presentation, the skies cracked open with an unbelievable downpour, fierce lightning and some distant thunder rolls. It was awesome. And it made me smile so huge because someone up there, was actually listening to me. It was phenomenal. Second reason is that it didn't go so bad - and I actually shared something extremely personal with my entire class: the death threat I received in high school. While I wasn't comfortable saying it was mine when I read it in the beginning, I shared at the very end that this was part of what skewed my ideas about co-educational environments. It felt really good. Oh! And on another note, the teacher mentioned the one really good paper idea that he liked (and he's a difficult man) and it was mine! I was so excited. It feels good to feel that your professors believe that what you are saying is intelligent.

So tonight, it's off for a few beers and then tomorrow, shopping for teacher presents with a friend, joining up with other friends later to go to the lake, and then finishing off the day cooking kielbasas in the park. I can't wait.

PILL POP?

Luckily, I have memorized what buttons need to be pressed in order to publish my blog but unfortunately, I think I may have just deleted a comment. (Sorry Kimberly!) I'm currently on a different hard drive than I've been on all year and it seems that I don't know how to switch it into English. To answer the comment though, I am not back in Rochester (yet!) - still in Poland (till next Friday) but just finishing up a semester of school...and it's dreadful. I have an hour presentation to do with another colleague and I'm dreading it, and I'm so pissed about it! I am SO confident in women's issues and women's ideas and I'm doing my presentation (and a class reading) on single-sexed classrooms. But for some reason, I still can't help fully freaking out before I have to go up there. I'm totally not nervous - in fact, I'm almost kinda excited - but I still can't help the physical reaction my body goes through. It's like I'm conditioned to that reaction and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Maybe it's because before I didn't really care about the material and now I do (and everyone else knows I do) and so I feel compelled to be interesting and introspective and all that. I don't know. All I know is that I want so BAD to be a good speaker but no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to master that damn skill! Isn't there a pill I can pop?

LAST MORNIN' IN OPOLE

I should be (that should be my new catch phrase) packing the rest of my stuff seeing as I'm leaving Opole in less than two hours but I'm frustrated at the fact that I don't think I'll be able to fit it all and I don't know what to do. I think it means that I'm going to have to open up the "no-open" suitcase that I packed last night (souvenirs and winter stuff) and pull out a jogging suit or sneakers and part with them. That sucks so bad. But I have nice clothes that need to go back more than a jogging suit so I just have to deal. I would send it back home but 1. it's Sunday and I hightly doubt the post office is open and 2. I have barely any money since the director at my (former!) school is a cheat and scammed us out of 451 zloty for "overlimit water usage." It's such a crock. I had it out with her really bad and told her she could either give me my money or I was going on the Internet to post how ridiculous her school is and for all TEFL teachers not to work there. She kept babbling (after saying she would do the same to me) and indirectly chose the latter. So, once I'm settled in and have a minute, I'm going to write a nice, long warning to all my fellow teachers about what an unsupportive school ILS is. It's sad that this is what I leave with - this horrible taste in my mouth from that woman but the good news, it was temporarily forgotten thanks to a great night out with friends and students on Friday.

ERRR...KIDS?

Had my interview in Krakow yesterday and it didn't go as well as I'd hoped. First of all, she made me really nervous saying that she's not sure how good a fit the school is because most of the classes are kids. Well, she's right with that. And the money doesn't seem as good as I had thought - what with me paying 1000 zl a month for a flat (ridiculous as I could probably get one in Krakow for the same amount), 200 or so for my own health insurance, having to pay for my own training if I want it, and no free Polish classes. It's sounding a little less appealing than I had previously thought. So, I'm currently on the hunt, once again, for something in Rzeszow. I looked a little online last night when I got back (until about 1 am) and then started again at 5 am this morning when I woke up. So far, I think I've found one position. The thing is, I could take this job and then just cross my fingers that 1. I like it or 2. I find something else when I get there but I feel bad having the school do all the work and paperwork (let alone pay for my visa) when I'm most likely gonna find something else when I get there. But my friend Peter (he's Polish) says that in Poland, with work, it's every man for himself. You can't think about the employer at all because the employer doesn't think about you. I hate bad karma though.

PROS

• they pay hourly (which can also be bad during holidays)
• only twenty hours a week
• it's near my family
• natives don't teach grammar
• I get my own copy of textbooks, teacher's books, tapes and workbooks

CONS

• they pay hourly
• it's kids
• surprise observations
• I'd have to pay for my own health insurance
• 1000 zl a month for the flat
• I'd have to pay for September's rent even though I wouldn't be there
• no Polish classes
• I'd have to pay for my own training if I wanted it

Back to the job hunt.

WORLD'S WORST (OR SHOULD I SAY, BEST?) PROCRASTINATOR

aliceneel.com

It is currently 10:12 am and I have successfully dodged working on my upcoming presentation for...about 2 hours now. I woke up so diligently at 6:30 am and did work for about an hour and a half but after needing to jump online for some additional research, I folded. I need to begin the PowerPoint design part but working on that is so final, thus the reason why I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to these things. I have been escaping the aforementioned work by:

1. reading (and forwarding the link to unsuspecting friends) a fabulous website I stumbled on when I was researching my topic of single-sexed schools.


2. daydreaming about my future home.


3. logging into facebook, adding quotes and reading notes.


4. cooking onions and eggs.


5. catching up on my correspondence.


6. being quiet so as to (hopefully) not wake up the roomies.


7. calling a taxi (successfully, might I add) for my one roommate to go to work. (How is she a waitress when she doesn't even speak the language??)


8. daydreaming about my future, again, but this time more generally.


9. downloading Alice Neel paintings to use as my new, inspiring desktop.


10. writing in my blog about how I am currently (and successfully, might I add) putting off my work.

RUMBLIN' MOVIE TIME

There's a rumble of thunder outside and the trees are waving poetically in the wind. You know what that means - time to blog. I love it!

Went shopping with Maja today and spent way too much money. But I like to think that it's probably the last time I'll go shopping before I go home. As of today, I have exactly 3 weeks till I saunter into Rochester International (c'mon, you can really call it that just because it goes to Canada?) and freak out at my family. (They're gonna be so embarrassed.)

Almost time to watch a movie as I just saw a bolt of lightening.

TREMENDOUSLY

Went to the gym this morning. The walk there was better than the walk back. I don't know why I was so exhausted and didn't want to do anything when I was there. I had to though; there was a surprise attack of beers in Kluczbork yesterday. And food with cream. When did this happen to me? Good thing I'm not too particular. Today we're hooking up pizza and summer drinks (thanks for the recipe in your blog, Kimberly!) with a friend.

Bought some new shoes, new glasses and found out I have two extra classes next week. That wasn't fun. Well, the extra classes part. Still haven't finished everything with my presentation but I have all weekend to finish it up. And the train ride to Krakow to perfect it. And as of tomorrow, I will be home in 3 weeks! I can't wait. I miss everyone tremendously (which means, enough to use the word "tremendously")!!!

SHE'S A MANIAC, MANIAC ON THE FLOOR

I am so freaking proud of myself. In my old age, I have decided to join a gym. (I'm starting to notice spider veins....ahhh!) Since I began, I've been going about 4 times a week. Moreover, I've been trying to up my time and all that, with each visit. When I walk out of there, it's like I'm that girl that used to be on the commercial, "like she just stepped out of a salon." Only I'm a sweaty, disgusting mess with a bandanna (nearly forbidden in Poland unless you're a man, an old woman, a baby, or gardening) and jogging pants. But it feels good. My legs are sore and I can barely walk to school some days, but I feel like a new woman. I have more energy and am usually (usually) in a better mood (okay, we'll say "more tolerable"). Unless you count the other night (Monday!) when the drunk teenagers were outside my window talking and being annoying. I pulled my passive aggressive card and opened the window while blaring the religious station on the radio. (It didn't work.) I would've called the cops but it's too difficult and they'd probably ignore a crazy foreigner complaining about something that's fairly normal in this neighborhood. (Did I tell you about the time I had to step over the hungover kid, passed out on the stairs, on the way to the dump at 10 am??! I had to stop and make sure he was breathing to be able to live with myself for leaving him there.)

Still dreading the presentation and that but still not doing anything about it aside from using it as an excuse to not leave my flat when I really just want to read.

Twenty-four days and counting. Next week is my interview in Krakow. Wish me luck - this job is exactly what I'm looking for (hourly pay so no more shenanigans...I hope).

PUPPET MASTER

Could not sleep last night. Beginning to wonder if the chamomile tea I have is actually caffeinated. Well, that and my increasing excitement to going home. I feel sorry for the person sitting next to me on the long flight home. Better for them if they don't speak English. Good news with the inability to sleep is that I got the beginning of my presentation mapped out and even got some free writing down. Of course, if anyone saw me I would have been thoroughly embarrassed: my skin between my fingers is so dry that I put steroid cream and socks on my hands. I was attempting to write with socks on my hands. Classic me.

The "boss" is still being ridiculous. I told her I wanted to just make sure we were on the same page for my pay this month and she answered, "I'm too busy for that." I think that means we're not on the same page.

GETTING DOWN TO THE WIRE

Woke up this morning to my favorite: the sound of rain crashing down on the pavement below. Well...that and drunk guys screaming at one another but eventually, my memory of this entire excursion will be selective so what's the harm in letting that start now. Sometimes, when I wake up on the weekend in my little bed and pull the covers off me, thinking about how I'll be going home in just a few weeks, I feel like I've been away at some camp and just counting the days. I'm not sure how I feel like that - I've never been to camp.

Been looking for something to read to my class for school at the end of the month. Our teacher has requested we read something to our classmates for 5 or 10 minutes. I found this fabulous website from Vancouver. It's a literary magazine written solely by submissions from women. That's definitely a new goal of mine - to get something published in there. Of course I have my novel goal but this would be equally rewarding. And the great thing is they list off all these other publications that the women have been showcased in and so now I not only have this magazine, but a listing of 15 or so others that I could subscribe or submit to. I was reading about one of the authors and they had written that she "lives by the sea with Edna the Cat", or something like that. At first it sounded terribly depressing but then, oddly enticing. What's become of me?!

So I'm trying to spend the weekend doing work for school but all I can do is freak out about this presentation and how I have no idea how to present it. Oh! I did take Friday night off and went fishing with my students. Fabulous. We went to this place where you fish yourself and then they cook it up for you. I had to eat it with the head and everything but somehow, I did it. I couldn't touch the thing though. Oh, and on the way there I saw a HUGE stork in her nest and yelled at my student/friend to pull over. Poor guy got so scared. I told him about how my aunt loves those birds and how I'd been wanting to get a picture for her. So I took a few snapshots. Wadja - if you're reading, these are for you. I'm thinking of you.

KIELBASA HEAVEN

Went to dinner with a friend.
We were eating outside.
There was an awning above.
Something hit the one above the table next to us
then hit the floor.
It was a raw sausage.

It's raining sausages in Poland,
literally.

ZAKOPANE MOUNTAIN WOMAN

Just call me "mountain woman!"

I finally saw Zakopane and although I didn't see as much of the mountains as I would have liked to, I still had an absolutely fabulous time. I went with a friend/student that is almost as lazy as me and we were able to sit, shop, watch people, drink, eat, sit and eat some more. It was great!

I haven't written in a while so even though this news of Zakopane is new, it isn't all. I went to Piastanalia (I'm pretty much positive that I spelled that wrong), the university "party" festival that lasts three days. There's concerts and drinking and eating. But mostly a lot of drinking. I went Wednesday night as my morning class cancelled and I didn't have to teach until Thursday at 3:30. I drank slightly too much Piast beer and was way hungover the next day. I went to class though (I'm a trooper when I'm the one to do the damage) and came home to plan my next lesson after scarfing down some pizza. Around 9:00pm, I felt extremely ill and had to go to bed. I was shaking and sooo cold. I had the heat cranked in my room, socks over the bottom of my pants, a t-shirt and long johns and I was still freezing. Finally got to sleep but was waking up in the middle of the night. When morning came, I showered, got clean pajamas on, and called in sick. By the afternoon, I had caught up on my sleep and was able to make it to Kluczbork. That night, after my students scared me into thinking I might possibly have sepsa (the fatal drinking virus in the surrounding towns), I was on a train to Zakopane.

SQUeeeeeZING IN ONE LAST TRIP

Heading to Zakopane this weekend and I'm very excited. A friend of mine and I will be hopping on the night train on Friday and spending the weekend (hopefully) with the "mountain people" drinking strong vodka and eating sausages. Yeah!!! I'm hoping to find some regional-specific vodka but am a little nervous as to how potent it can be. (Check out the link below.)

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7006764717

Also very excited about next year's prospects. I've decided that since I won't be able to see my great aunt this coming June (I would have to skip this semester of school), I'm coming back to Poland next year and moving (if I can find a job) to Rzeszow - the city she lives closest to. I don't go drinking, I don't even really go out exploring - living close to family is ideal for me. I only hope that she'll want to see me as often as I'd like to visit. Family is one of the main reasons I am here and I feel so lucky that I'll be so close to family when I return.

NERD ALERT

I am currently working on my presentation for school this June: half-hour on the topic of single-sexed schools, which I know nothing about. And without adequate access to online journals or books in English, I'm not that confident in the information I'm gathering.

I have found a website to help put together this fairly random presentation. I recognize that I make way too big a deal out of these things (the majority of my classmates will either be stoned, half-stoned, half-drunk, hungover, sleeping or thinking about their own presentations when I'm up there talking) but I can't help but obsess. If I don't, it will go even worse than planned. I guess I'm just one of those people that has to plan out the details no matter how unimportant the presentation task is.

So here's the odd part. Every time I'm getting ready to do a presentation, I can picture myself ("visualize", if I may) giving this totally awesome speech at some college or women's conference and I wonder how I'm able to imagine myself doing this if I can't even do a half-hour bogus presentation in front of my peers in a summer course. Maybe it's because the topic isn't of that much interest to them, or me for that matter. I chose single-sexed schools which, in an education class, was the closest I could get to going in the direction I'd like to go after I get this master's degree. (Scratch that. Sexual education would have been more interesting and more relevant to my future studies but this is TEFL - how can I really say that the topic of teaching sexual education relates to any of us in that room, at least at this point.)

So I'm heading to Zakopane next weekend and I'm hoping I can print out my information for the presentation so I can work on it during the night train ride. For some reason, working on school work during a ride somewhere always makes me feel intellectual. It's gonna feel SO good when I get to jump on that plane home after finishing all that work. Can you believe it will be only one more semester and I'll have a Master's degree in Education??!

HOLIDAY, CELEBRATE

Finally, more pictures!

Went on holiday this past week and had a fabulous time. Started out going to Gdansk on Monday morning. My train left at 6:30 and I made it to Gdansk around 3:30 that afternoon. I spent two days there (more or less) and left Wednesday morning to meet a friend in Warsaw. The trip was great; I spent most of my time leisurely, albeit coldly, walking the city and popping in to various shops and restaurants. Took myself to a nice dinner both Monday and Tuesday night, both including wine and a candle.

Spent another three or so days in Warsaw. I had heard a lot about how unattractive this city is and I must admit that aside from the old and new town centers, it really is a fairly accurate statement. There's a lot of graffiti and cold, gray buildings. But the restaurants are great and so was the company.

Finished off my vacation in Opole. Went with a friend to see Moszna Castle. It's currently used as a mental hospital/classical concert site and although the latter caused us to miss seeing the entire interior, the outside and the grounds were spectacular.

Enjoy the pictures. I apologize for the smudgy thing on some of the Warsaw pictures. It's really annoying. Next weekend, Zakopane - minus the smudge.